Are We Who We Say We Are, Who We Show We Are, or Who We Wish to Be?

In a world that thrives on presentation — from curated Instagram feeds to carefully worded bios — to who we describe ourselves to strangers on internet — the question of who we really are has never felt more complicated. Are we defined by the words we use to describe ourselves, the actions others witness, or the ideal versions of ourselves we’re constantly trying to become?

Who We Say We Are

The way we describe ourselves is often about our passion, beliefs, our name, job. But words are slippery. They can be honest, aspirational, or even protective — a way to frame how we want others to perceive us. Sometimes, “who we say we are” isn’t a reflection of who we truly are, but who we’re comfortable admitting to being.

Our self-descriptions are stories — and stories can evolve, twist, and contradict. The words we use can either anchor us in reality or float us toward illusion.

Who We Show We Are

Actions, unlike words, are harder to disguise. They’re the living proof of what we value. How we treat people when no one’s watching, how we react under stress, and how we show love or frustration — these glimpses often reveal more truth than any biography could.

Yet, even “who we show we are” can be performative. We all wear masks in different settings — the professional mask, the friend mask, the family mask. Each reveals part of us, but not necessarily the whole. We perform because we want to belong, to be understood, or simply to survive in the social ecosystems we inhabit.

Who We Want to Be

Then there’s the fantasy — the version of ourselves that exists in imagination or maybe we thought who we used to be decades ago. This isn’t necessarily deception; it can be motivation. The idealized self can inspire growth. But it can also become a trap — when we cling so tightly to that fantasy that we lose touch with the imperfect, authentic person underneath.

We post, pose, and edit — crafting not just photos but entire personas. In this digital age, the line between “becoming” and “pretending” has blurred. Our fantasies about ourselves can either lead us toward evolution or delusion, depending on how honest we are about the gap between who we are and who we wish to be.

The Truth Between the Three

Maybe authenticity isn’t about choosing one of these versions, but about acknowledging all of them. We are what we say, what we do, and what we hope for — in constant negotiation. Our identities are not fixed points; they’re moving currents.

Learning to love ourselves even when we’re messy, uncertain, or halfway to becoming who we dream of being.

Because at the end of the day, being real doesn’t mean being perfect — it means being honest.
And honesty, is where we finally start to meet ourselves.